THE MUSIC MAKER ·
Ed Sheeran has been trying to prove that all pop songs might sound the same. He may have a point.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines plagiarism as "the act or practice of taking someone else's work, idea, etc., and passing it off as one's own."
At the time of writing both Dua Lipa and Ed Sheeran stand accused of incorporating other people's work into some of their hits.
In fact, everybody's favourite ginger singer is currently involved in one of those bizarre court cases where there always seems to be an octogenarian judge who's never heard of the defendant and who thinks Frank Sinatra's Songs For Swingin Lovers! is still in the charts.
To confuse things further, our Ed has been serenading the courtroom with Nina Simone tunes in a bid to demonstrate that all pop songs sound just about the same anyway. He may have a point.
Of course, in a fair and just world, what Mr Sheeran really should be on trial for is his woeful lyrics which, when not talking about things smelling of other things, involve some of the worst rhythmic scanning ever recorded.
Take this example, from his hit Galway Girl:
"I met her on Grafton Street right outside of the bar. She shared a cigarette with me while her brother played the guitar"
Now, while it's true that not everyone can be Seamus Heaney when it comes to wordsmithery, surely there must have been someone in the recording studio who noticed that there is far too much information crammed into that second line.
"Er, Ed, surely that's way too many syllables, mate. Maybe 'We shared a cigarette, her brother played guitar' would be better - *mutters under breath* - although it's still not very good."
"Ssshh! Be quiet everyone. I've got another fantastic one. Listen : There were lots of people drinking lots of drinks and their hair smelt of shampoo and things and also feeling/The music coming from the speakers that were right next to a bicycle that was hanging from the ceiling." "Brilliant, man, it's so catchy - let's record it."
I've just had the great honour of being asked to judge the SUR in English schools' poetry competition [see the supplement in the middle of this week's edition] and there is some truly beautiful work to behold.
In fact, there are a few professional recording artists currently knocking about who might be well advised to keep an eye on the students on the Costa del Sol if they had a mind to up their game.
