”You don’t mind your daughter seeing you like that?” the aesthetician asked, somewhat judgy, when my daughter walked into the room. I was holding one leg in the air getting my regular Brazilian and thinking how much easier this position was now thanks to getting back into yoga.
”No,” I answered. ”She’s seen me do this before.”
In fact, my daughter usually comes with me when I get my legs, underarms, and Brazilian waxes. My usual aesthetician was on holiday, so I was seeing a new one. And it wasn’t until this new one asked, ”You don’t mind your daughter seeing you like that?” that I actually thought about it for the first time…ever.
For five years, my daughter and I lived alone together, which means we are not only completely bonded, but nothing was hidden. She used to shower with me, we would have baths together, and even now, we share the same stall in washrooms at restaurants or airports. My daughter seeing me naked from the waist down, and in only a bra, is nothing out of the normal. I change in front of her almost daily.
My daughter, in fact, used to love watching the whole process of my waxing appointments, ”helping” my regular aesthetician by holding a Popsicle stick and asking her many questions about the hot wax, even holding my hand when I was in pain from all the ripping. My daughter doesn’t think twice about anything when I pick her up from school and say we’re going to ”Helena’s” because I need a wax. She enjoys coming with me, because she can organize all the nail polish bottles on hand.
The truth is, my daughter is now more bored than anything when coming with me to my waxes. This is why she came into the room, while my leg was in the air and everything and I mean everything was on display.
”What should I do?” she asked, and I told her to go draw faces on the celebrities in magazines.
My daughter doesn’t care at all about seeing my private parts. For her, hearing me every three weeks or so, screaming, ”Oh, THAT one hurt!” is completely normal.
The only thing I don’t like about my daughter seeing me get waxed is the possibility that she will think she has to do it too. That’s why I make sure to tell her that I choose to do it because I like it. I clarify that she doesn’t have to do it when she grows up, unless she wants to.
But I couldn’t stop wondering, ”Is this abnormal?” as this new aesthetician thought it was. Perhaps it would be if you don’t get Brazilians. Perhaps it would be different if I took an 8-year-old son as opposed to my daughter. Perhaps it was only abnormal, or it seemed that way to this aesthetician, because she doesn’t have children.
I’m pretty sure of two things. One day my daughter is going to be waxed, or at least try it out. My 13-year-old ”bonus daughter” is already talking about how her mother will be taking her to get her legs waxed and already shaves her underarms. The other thing I’m sure about is that my daughter, as she gets older, probably won’t want to watch and will stay in the waiting room until I’m done. Or, more likely, be hanging out with friends and not want to come with me at all.
Most women I know get Brazilians and so my wax is nothing out of the ordinary. I rather my daughter watch me and think that the human body is nothing to be ashamed of, than hide her away, yelling, ”You can’t come in here! My vagina is showing!” The only question my daughter asks now, when I say we’re going to Helena’s, is if we can stop at McDonalds on the way home. And while I’m getting my wax? Well, if my daughter’s not organizing the nail polish bottles, she’s pretty much holding my hand and telling me about her day at school. All in all, it’s pretty darn normal to me.
(photo: Bork/ Shutterstock)
