Harnaam Kaur is a 24-year-old body-confidence and anti-bullying activist based in London. She’s had polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)—which causes her to grow excessive hair on her face, chest, and stomach—since she was 11. Through speaking out about her condition (it can also cause irregular periods and affect fertility) and modeling her facial hair, she’s hoping to broaden the definition of beauty and inspire other women.
Louisa Coulthurst and Cassandra Watson
I consider myself a body-confidence activist—and that’s all about empowering women to be who they are and not shy away from their true selves. Through the photo shoots that I do, I’m trying to portray a more diverse idea of what beauty is and what it can be. I think the word beauty—and the definition of it—is really boxed. I really want people to realize that beauty comes in so many different shapes and forms. That’s one of the reasons why I did a recent bridal photo shoot for Rock n Roll Bride. Plus, it's different than anything else I've done. The photographers were interested in putting flowers in my beard for some of the pictures, which I loved.
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I’m 24 now, but I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was only 11. That’s always been the reason why I’ve had so much facial hair and why my body hair grows so quickly.
For many years, I removed my facial hair, and it was emotionally and physically painful. I remember having my face waxed and threaded, and it was horrible. It burned because my skin was so soft and tender at that age. My skin would rip, and I used to bleed. I used to wax two to three times a week, but, like with arm or leg hair, the hair on my face would still come back.
I got sick and tired of the pain, so after a while, I switched to shaving and using hair removal creams instead, even though I had to do that daily. I really wanted to get laser treatments done, but I was too young at the time. I even started bleaching my hair at one point to make it lighter and less noticeable, but you could still see it, especially when I was out in the sun.
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I was bullied all the time at school. Kids would say the really obvious things—they'd call me a she-man or a beast, and they'd refer to me as my brother's brother instead of his sister. They'd also throw food at me and make this sort of squeaking sound like a razor whenever I walked past. It was a really hard time in my life. I remember going into school feeling like every day was doomsday. Being bullied led me to slit my wrists and arms and consider committing suicide. I tried to overdose on painkillers one day in school, but I got scared, so I threw them up.
Then, one day when I was 16, I just thought to myself, “Why don’t you try living with your facial hair? Why don’t you try embracing it and actually growing it out and see how you feel?” So I decided to stop listening to what the bullies had to say, and I told myself, "From today on, I’m just going to live how I want to live." I honestly don't remember where this thought came from—I just remember thinking, "Wait a minute, I have just as much a right to live as everyone else does." I decided to put all of my energy into living, and it was very liberating. When I think back on the names kids used to call me in school, I can laugh about it now—I guess I have a good sense of humor. I also got tattoos about a year ago of the words "love" and "faith" to cover up the scars on my arm from when I used to cut myself.
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Luckily, my younger brother is one of my biggest supporters. He’s always there for me, giving me a hug if I’m down. He laughs with me and helps me get over any nasty comments people make about my appearance. (Even though I’m not in school anymore, I still get negative reactions online whenever one of my photo shoots is featured somewhere—and sometimes I can’t help but read them.)
But I’ve been getting so much positive feedback on what I’ve been doing, it makes everything I’ve gone through worth it. A lot of women with PCOS reach out to me to talk about their struggles. They thank me and say my story has given them strength or inspired them. I think the comments that have really stood with me the most are the ones where people say things like, “I want my daughter to be as strong as you,” or “I’ve started to love myself after hearing your story.” Those make me feel like I’m really doing some good in the world.
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Visit Harnaam's Instagram to check out her latest photos. Rock n Roll Bride photo credits include: Louisa Coulthurst and Cassandra Watson (photography), Kam Sandhu (makeup), Lucy Mooney (flowers), Cutting Edge Brides (wedding dress), and Severndroog Castle Woolwich (venue).
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Christina Heiser is the senior associate editor at WomensHealthMag.com, covering beauty and health. During the five years she's worked as a beauty editor, she's amassed way more nail polishes than any woman could ever need. When she's not working, you can find her cheering on her college basketball team (go Red Storm!). Follow her on Twitter and Instagram (but only if you like cats).
