Grooming
Let it be known that I am very pro-hair. Maybe it’s based on romanticized and antiquated ideals of masculinity or perhaps it’s “just a preference,” but hairy men have always been fine by me. TLDR; hairy men are hot.
But more hair doesn’t necessarily mean more fun. As someone who’s maintained facial stubble for a while, I’ve experimented with and learned all the tricks of basic beard maintenance. Replace a blade after 3-4 uses. Shave with the grain on the cheeks and against on the neck. When finished, wash and dry your razor thoroughly then store it upright. Lather, rinse, repeat. Yet despite all the best intentions, shaving is still tedious as it’s ever been. Ingrown hairs still emerge and tiny cuts, especially on the harder to reach areas like the neck, continue to ruin an otherwise fine experience. It was only after a year of consistent skin irritations on my neck that I seriously started looking for a permanent solution.
Laser hair removal was first invented in the ’60s but took years of trial and error and second-degree burns before it was polished into what we have today. Now finding a laser hair removal technician is as easy as booking a massage. Those interested have the option of going to a dermatologist (fun fact: insurance covers alopecia treatment but not laser hair removal) or a medispa, which basically blurs the lines between spa and doctor’s office so you can get Botox. The main difference is I don’t think you have to tip anyone whose job requires a medical degree but you should definitely tip your laser technician. The process currently works best on light skin with dark hair, but surely new technology will soon fix that so everybody has the option of permanent hair removal.
Once I made an appointment with a medispa I found on Groupon, I was given a few instructions/rules before coming in: No sun exposure for two weeks before and after treatment, and shave the day of your appointment for the best results but do not put any products on your skin. Fair enough — after avoiding extended periods of sunshine for 14 days and trying my hand at the perfect shave, I was ready for action.
The actual process of laser hair removal is surprising in how easy it is. Once you’re in the chair, the technician sanitizes the targeted region (in this case, the front of my neck) before marking the skin with a white pencil to determine how best to shape the new beard line. Then the zapping starts, which feels just like being pinched with rubber bands but it’s nothing to lose sleep over. When Beyonce said “Pretty Hurts,” she definitely wasn’t talking about this. The whole procedure lasts around two minutes (the neck is considered a small to medium area) and then you’re good to go and book your appointment 4 weeks later. Repeat this up to 6 times for the best results — the Groupon I bought covered all 6 treatments for only $150 (not including tip) so I can’t recommend it highly enough.
I’m only 4 treatments in, but I’ve already noticed a major change. While the stubble is still there, it’s growing at a fraction of the pace it once did — I have thick hair so it’s unlikely my neck will ever be totally bald but it’s already much easier to handle. My experience with laser hair removal has been pretty satisfying so I’m unsure why more men aren’t doing it. We’re long past the days of the Metrosexual, to a point where straight men are painting their fingernails for clout, so taking pride in your appearance is nothing to fear unless you’re actually homophobic. If unwanted body hair is causing an issue for you, it’s definitely worth checking out laser removal so that you can live your best carefree and hair-free life.
