Carrie Bradshaw convinced me to get my first bikini wax. "I feel like I'm nothing but walking sex," she said in that landmark 2000 episode of Sex and the City, from which millions of women were introduced to the concept of going Brazilian-bare. Being Australian, with a go-natural ethos toward beauty, I wasn't sure I wanted to be walking sex — or even what that meant — but her cheeky grin intrigued me. Besides, I was about to meet my long-distance boyfriend in Hawaii after being apart for three months. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to see if some nether-region grooming would add a little pep to my already excited step.
With my legs in a gynecological position, I looked up at the ceiling and imagined a thought bubble floating above the technician's head: Gorilla girl. She seemed peeved that I hadn't clipped first to make the hair short enough to wax. Embarrassed that I hadn't known the rules, I looked away as she tugged on what was left of my pubic hair. With every rip, I was stunned by the pain and considered screaming "Stop!" But turning up on my Hawaii vacation with a lopsided bikini wax was not an option.
I left feeling more Mr. Bigglesworth than Victoria's Secret Angel. "This is supposed to be sexy?" I thought. But a day later in a tropical hotel room, hairless as the day I'd come into the world, my boyfriend eyed me hungrily. He was, to put it mildly, grateful. But as happy as I was, there was something unsettling about how much he liked this new look. Even then, I wondered, what does this say about me, about him, about us — about sex?
More than a decade later, going bare is no longer a daring one-off stunt. Studies cited in The Journal of Urology say more than 80 percent of female college students in the U.S. remove all or at least some of their pubic hair. Last year, Bliss Spas performed more than 70,000 Brazilian waxes — twice as many as in 2011 — and that number looks likely to double again this year, says Susan Grey, regional vice president of operations at Bliss. "The Brazilian is the new normal," says Grey. "It's hard to see us going back to the just-the-sides wax ... let alone, the bush." For that, you can thank (or blame?) the J. Sisters, who, in 1994, set up shop in Manhattan and claim to have imported the Brazilian to the U.S. (They also inspired the Sex and the City episode that made me want to bare all.) "In Brazil, waxing is part of our culture because of our small bikinis," says Jonice Padhila, one of the seven J. Sisters. "It's also hygienic." On that point, gynecologists disagree. "There is nothing unclean about pubic hair," says Amy Stoddard, MD, assistant professor of gynecology at UCLA. In fact, some docs say the bare look is potentially harmful. "Shaving and waxing make the skin more vulnerable, making it easier to contract — and spread — certain STIs," says Kari Braaten, MD, a gynecologist at Brigham and Women's Hospital, in Boston. (Whatever your decision, practicing safe sex and good hygiene can help prevent those issues.)
Finally, Padhila says, "It's better for sex, mainly oral." With that, it's easy to see where this trend really came from: porn.
A staggering 30 percent of the internet's band width is taken up by the stuff, which, according to a study by porn site PaintBottle.com, draws 70 percent of men. The top page is PornHub.com, one of the most visited porn sites in the world with more than 35 million unique visitors daily. (For context: Playboy's highest selling issue, November 1972, sold 7.1 million copies.) Once taboo, porn is now a major form of sex education in the Western world, says Gail Dines, PhD, professor of sociology and women's studies at Wheelock College, in Boston. And the hairless look is a must in porn today. "The increased popularity of oral sex as well as the rise of point-of-view-style porn — where the camera is always tight on the action — contributed to the bare look becoming so popular," explains Corey Price, the VP of PornHub.com. (Translation: a big bush impedes the view!) As for why this style exploded off camera: "A large portion of the population has been watch ing hairless women in porn. It's only natural that some would want to try it for themselves," says Price.
The cycle starts early. "Let's take a 13-year-old boy. If he's masturbating and looking at porn with hairless women, that will certainly have a strong influence on what he'll find arousing," says Ogi Ogas, PhD, coauthor of A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships.
For Dines' book, Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality, she spoke to students whose boyfriends wouldn't have sex with them unless they were waxed. "One student's boyfriend e-mailed his friends joking about his girlfriend's 'hairy beaver.' Instead of breaking up with this guy," Dines says, "she got waxed."
But you don't have to watch porn — or date a jerk — to feel the pressure. Last year, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, actress Gwyneth Paltrow talked about the skintight, sheer-paneled dress she wore, joking she was "scrambling for a razor" in order to wear it. "I work a '70s vibe, know what I mean?" she boasted. Once it aired, the press had a field day — it was as if Paltrow had admitted to having a tail! A few years before on HBO's hit show Entourage, guest star — and world-famous adult-film actress — Sasha Grey really did flaunt a full-blown bush in one of the series' most talked-about episodes. If that online backlash was any indication, even a porn star couldn't pull it off.
Back in that Hawaiian hotel room, of course, I didn't give a single thought to porn stars. I was just experimenting ... something that, to my surprise, has turned into a habit. Full-on Brazilians are off the table (they hurt too much, and personally, I don't love the look), but I feel slightly Neanderthal if I have more than a small triangle. I wholeheartedly believe that pressure from society — and men — plays a role in whether a woman decides to take it all off. But I also think many of us just like the feeling of being tidy (or bare!) down there — and if it makes us happy, why judge?
What You Think
In a Cosmopolitan.com poll, 98 percent of you say you groom your bikini line. Of those of you who do ...
71% go Brazilian
7% opt for "the landing strip"
13% just keep it neat
9% do a trimmed triangle
This article was originally published as "Wax On, Wax Off" in the April 2014 issue of Cosmopolitan. Click here to get the issue in the iTunes store!
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