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I’m a 28-year-old disabled trans woman from the UK in need of gender-affirming care. I started hormone therapy when I was 20.
Not being able to complete my medical transition has been causing me severe emotional distress for my entire adult life so far, having developed gender dysphoria in my early teens, but not being able to start hormone replacement therapy until my bones had sufficiently masculinised such that I now need surgery to resolve the tangible sensation of incongruity associated with my remaining masculine traits, most overwhelmingly my face.
This is how I used to feel about my whole body, but from the neck down, hormone therapy has changed the traits that distressed me to the extent that this incongruity feels reduced by about 80% - not perfect, but a major, major improvement. Unfortunately, hormones can't undo masculinisation of bone. How masculine my lower face is is one of the things it's least possible to distract myself from in day-to-day life and probably the most masculine trait about me, both before and after hormones.
The NHS does not cover any form of facial feminisation as part of its gender-affirming care coverage. This means needing to find £25-50K out of pocket for a full package of brow/nose/jaw surgery with a reputable surgeon. It's Kafka-esque.
Along with hypoxic brain damage and hypotonic palsy, one of my disabilities is HSD (hypermobility spectrum disorder, basically some of the symptoms of hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome), and because of this, I live with chronic musculoskeletal pain, gut problems, and fatigue. This means it is impossible to find consistent work that pays me enough to live and accommodate my disabilities, despite trying to work from home. I have been on disability benefits and am on the lowest rate for PIP (Personal Independence Payment) despite needing a leg brace to walk any distance, thanks to the UK government's punitive benefits regime. I find it impossible to save towards my transition once money has been spent on rent, food, and bills. And all of this is without even touching on the devastating impact living with untreated gender dysphoria has on my general concentration and productivity, even towards hobbies, etc., let alone work. This is why it would mean more than I can describe in words if you could donate to my fundraiser.
Because of the restrictions on UK disability benefit claimants, the only way for me to do this legitimately is to rely on a relative to set up this fundraiser for me; they will collect any money raised, which would be directly spent by them on my behalf for the below:
-Electrolysis for hair removal on my face (Current campaign goal)
Then-
-Consultations to discuss facial feminisation surgery, including travel costs
-Facial feminisation surgery itself (if I am approved for it), specifically-
--Most likely: Gonionplasty, lateral corticotomy of the inferior border of the jaw, lower face lift and direct excision neck lift (because removing material from the jaw tends to result in soft tissue excess)
--Likely: Lateral tubercle reduction of the anterior jaw and chin (the aforementioned jaw and chin procedures would all count as one or possibly two procedures, not considered separate), fat transfer to mental groove
--Possible: Rhinoplasty (I need it, but have to be especially careful here as the nose is mostly soft tissue, and my condition affects cartilage), brow reduction, fat transfer to cheeks
I'm currently most interested in consulting with Nikhil Maini in Bristol, FacialTeam in Spain, and potentially one of the lesser-known surgeons in France because there's a few whose anterior jaw/chin results look promising there. If for whatever reason my health issues mean I cannot get surgery, any remaining funds raised here would be redistributed to other fundraisers for UK trans women seeking FFS.
For the reasons mentioned above, donations are to be treated as a gift, which means I can’t give anything in exchange. However, if you gave to my cause, you would hopefully be helping me undo a lifetime of my own will being overwritten with abjection and disappointment by not being able to access transition until after puberty had already finished. This is the only way for a disabled trans woman to complete medical transition in the UK.
I know it may take several years to raise funds for the surgery itself (if I am eligible), but if I can get the ball rolling after spending most of my 20s effectively treading water, I'll at least be heading in the right direction, and I hope that will lift enough of a mental weight from me to be able to begin doing some of the other things I'd desperately rather be spending my life on than gender dysphoria.
Many thanks for reading, and please share.
Rrobynne xx
---------UPDATE 1.02.2024---------
I'm extremely grateful for the money that has been raised towards my transition so far; I reached my initial goal of £1000 towards electrolysis shortly before Christmas, and have just booked an appointment for a patch test on 23rd February with the clinic I had previously gone to for laser hair removal when I was just starting out with my transition. I plan to ask the following at my appointment to ensure the best outcome:
—I have HSD/hEDS, which is associated with fragile skin and easy scarring, and I already have hyperpigmentation around my eyes, so I'm particularly aware of the risk of hyperpigmentation and scarring in my case, and I plan to get my patch test done on the underside of my neck, where any scarring will be out of sight. Do side effects like scarring manifest immediately after healing, and if not, how long after healing do they usually manifest? I need to know this so that I know how long to wait between my patch test to evaluate whether to go ahead with treatment.
I'm aware that electrolysis makes you all red and scabby during healing, and I've heard of trans women who get a full face of electrolysis (e.g. people with red hair) having to spend several years wearing masks to cover their face from the sunlight whilst going through treatment, etc.; obviously this would interfere with other important areas of my life. Is it possible for me to remove as much hair as I can up until the start of the summer, stop, and then resume at the start of the winter?
For someone removing a full face of facial hair gaps like this would extend the total time to remove the hair prohibitively to years and years long, but in my case I'm only removing patches that were not caught by my earlier laser treatment years ago. What I am not clear on is whether this sort of discontinuity in treatment harms the overall efficacy of each electrolysis treatment session, or merely makes it take longer, the latter of which I'd be fine with (and would continue to raise funds towards FFS in the meantime).
Like I said, I'll ask these questions in the appointment, but in case they don't have the answers, please do contact me if you have any information to help answer these questions or have any other general information about getting electrolysis with HSD/hEDS.
Right now, my plan is to get this patch test done, wait and see how my skin reacts, and then either proceed with the electrolysis and raise my goal to £15,000 towards FFS at the start of the summer once I have used some of the money raises so far towards electrolysis and have an idea of whether £1000 is likely to be enough to remove my most problem patches, or alternatively, if my skin reacts poorly and it's decided my skin isn't suitable for electrolysis, to raise the goal immediately and count the money raised so far towards the new goal.
£15,000 and above is the sort of money I would need to head into FFS consultations with to show surgeons that I am a serious prospect; they make a lot of their money from people going to paid consultations and then deciding not to go ahead with surgery due to cost, fear, or change of mind, so if I go straight to consultations with barely anything saved up, surgeons are likely to tell me what I want to hear expecting not to see me again, rather than giving me a serious and nuanced evaluation especially with respect to safety considerations re: my health issues.
Again, many thanks so far for your support. I will post confirmation of my patch test so you can see how your donations are being spent!
Rrobynne xx
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Organizer
Nat J
Organizer
England
