4 Bikini Waxers Get Real About Everything From Salon Red Flags to Waxing a Penis

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Bikini waxing has always been the most mystifying of beauty experiences. It's referenced so often in pop culture that you'd think everyone is doing it but still, the barrier to entry can make it seem v. intimidating. (The nakedness! The pain! The stranger inflicting the pain and also seeing your nakedness!) Here, four experts explain everything you've ever wanted to know about bikini waxing.

How old are you and how long have you been waxing?

Valery SteinPaul Labrecque Salon

Marcy Kornblum, co-founder of Wax Club: I've been waxing for 15 years.

Lori Nestore, founder of Berodin Wax: I'm 62 years old; I've been waxing for over 40 years.

Carly Ross, lead specialist at Spruce & Bond Upper East Side: I'm 32 and have been waxing for just over a year.

Is waxing your go-to recommendation for all hair removal or do you ever suggest another hair removal treatment to your clients over waxing?

Stein: I would recommend electrolysis for the face as it is more precise and permanent. For the body, I like lasers or regular waxing. Keep in mind that laser removal can often be expensive and it requires an ongoing commitment.

Kornblum: Waxing is the best way to go. Waxing removes the hair closer to the root, so the hair doesn't grow back as quick as shaving. Also, you don't have to deal with nicks from the razor. Best of all, waxing exfoliates dry skin so you get two treatments in one.

Nestore: I mostly recommend waxing as it tends to be the least painful on the wallet and on the body. I will recommend laser or electrolysis if a person is exceptionally hairy, or if their hair becomes ingrown and infected before it can even surface.

Ross: It depends on the client. For example, if the client has really dark hair, I always let them know that they are a good candidate for laser hair removal. If the client has very little hair, are not prone to ingrown hairs, and it doesn't bother them much to have hair in general, I recommend waxing. If I had to choose a go-to, I'd choose laser. It's an investment but so is a lifetime of wax packages. There's a light at the end of the tunnel with laser.

What percentage of your clients are male and female?

Stein15 percent

Kornblum: Seventy percent female and 30 percent male.

Nestore: Seventy percent women and 30 percent male.

Ross: I'd say it's about 80 percent female, and 20 percent male.

How fast does it take to become desensitized to seeing people’s genitals?

Stein: I was comfortable from the beginning because of my extensive training. I was trained to feel comfortable and deal with all situations. It’s just part of the job!

Kornblum: Almost immediately, it's our job. We focus on the service and making our clients comfortable. I know it sounds cliche but it's the same process that doctors go through.

Nestore: If one comes from a medical world, no time at all. It is more a matter of how many Brazilians one has done as opposed to however many months. It is more shocking certainly in the very beginning.

Ross: It’s interesting because you can sense the client’s vulnerability, which puts you into a deep place of empathy. You want to respect it is just like any other body part. However, you don't wax a vagina or penis the same way that you wax a leg or an arm, so I think it's important to never become too desensitized. There's a lot more going on with male genitals and you really need the help of the client to get through the service. There is a lot of loose skin, and you have to be really careful with counter pressure. It's definitely harder than waxing a vagina.

Do male clients act differently than female clients at the salon? If so, how?

Stein: Men are more sensitive. They have a lower threshold of pain. At the beginning men are more intimidated by the process but then they quickly get comfortable. It’s my job to make them feel at ease and ensure them it will not hurt as much as think.

Kornblum: People are people. Some men are outgoing and some are reserved. The same applies to women. I think though, since waxing for men is a newer trend for the mainstream, sometimes they feel they need to explain why they are waxing because it is perceived by some as "girly."

Nestore: Outside of the fact that a male erection looks very different from a female ... no. There are easy men to wax and easy women. It is a matter of how they are built, their pain tolerance, and if they come back every four weeks like clockwork.

Ross: Every client is different from each other. I have learned to never think I know the type of person that I am meeting. I am constantly surprised by what I think men and women are supposed to act like.

What’s the most popular thing for men to get waxed?

Stein

Kornblum: Backs first and Brazilian second.

Nestore: Nose and ears, followed by backs.

Ross: Backs, all the way.

What kinds of pubic hair trends have you noticed over the years? Like, are fewer people going all the way bare now or has it pretty much been the same forever?

Stein: It’s been pretty much the same since I've been waxing. The Brazilian bikini wax continues to be very popular.

Kornblum: People are going all the way bare.

Nestore: It went from '60s bush to bare, to landing strip. Now, it is anything and everything.

Ross: Younger women tend to take everything off and older women tend to like a strip left behind.

What’s the most popular style your clients ask for?

Steina bikini wax

Kornblum: The Brazilian is the most popular style our clients ask for. With Brazilian waxing, all hair in the pubic area and anus is completely removed, so the client leaves completely bare.

Nestore: Landing strip or a triangle (picture it from the top of the labia as an upside-down triangle). It really is a mixed bag these days from completely bare to the two styles mentioned above.

Ross: Everything off.

What’s the one thing you wish your clients knew before coming in to see you?

Stein

Kornblum: For new waxers, ask for the hard stripless wax. The older and less frequently used style of soft wax (where wax is applied first and ripped off with an adhesive strip) is more painful. It's also good to shower before coming in for two reasons. It's more pleasant for the waxer and because showering opens the pores. Hydration opens the pores and makes waxing more effective, so drink water right before your appointment and consider skipping coffee beforehand since coffee can be dehydrating.

Nestore: That they need to use recommended home care and come in every four weeks like clockwork, even if they think they don't have enough hair. Also, that they cannot shave or tweeze in between appointments.

Ross: Make sure they are hygienic; wipe properly before coming in.

What’s something most people don’t realize about waxing aftercare?

SteinRedness

Kornblum: For sensitive skin, an application of a product like aloe works wonders.

Nestore: For new clients, they think they will be [free of ingrowns] and smooth the very first wax appointment. It takes three waxes, four weeks apart to really get the hair on a schedule so they remain smooth and hairless.

Ross: People don’t realize but you should not exercise for at least 24 hours after. The less heat and irritation you bring to the area, the better!

Is it true that you can tell if someone had sex right before their waxing appointment?

SteinI

Kornblum: Sure, if someone comes in for a waxing right after intercourse and hasn't "cleaned up" the telltale evidence is there: residual semen and of course the odor.

Nestore: Waxing is about as sexy as a pap smear. We aren't looking to see if it looks like they have had sex; we don't care. We want them to be clean, show up on time, use the home care we suggest, come back every four weeks, and pay us. Their personal life doesn't matter at all. In fact, we are just fine if they don't share it. This is a non-issue for a professional waxer, since we really just wax the exterior of the area.

Ross: Maybe if you know your client's vagina? I don't agree with that theory though.

Are there any red flags clients should be on the lookout for when visiting a salon when it comes to the cleanliness and safety of a place?

Stein: Always verify that technicians are certified and licensed in NYC or where you live. All waxing tools used during a service should be disposable and never reused. Sticks and strips should be disposed of after each use and contact with the body. Always alert your technician to any allergies or sensitive areas before receiving a wax or different type of hair removal.

Kornblum: The salon should be spotless. The staff should be welcoming and considerate. After all, they are going to be providing an intimate service.

Nestore: It should be clean, that's it in a nutshell. If the wax is pouring all over the sides of the pot, sticks are all over the place, or the salon is dusty and doesn't look clean — that's a huge red flag.

Ross: Make sure that your waxer is using a new stick every time they dip into the wax. And pay a normal amount for your wax. It's not worth skimping and then being exposed to secondhand wax diseases.

What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned since becoming a waxer?

Stein: For most clients, they usually realize it hurts much less than what they expected. This is especially true with the men!

Kornblum: That people are people. That everyone is becoming more comfortable with waxing and more knowledgeable about the process. There are no longer a lot of secrets about waxing or what we wax. People talk about it like they would if they were going to the dentist!

Nestore: Everybody's body parts are normal to them. We are all built differently, some have large lips, protruding inner labia, etc. You become accustomed to different parts and just wax it. Quite frankly, it is all normal to me. I just want them to leave happy and clean.

Ross: The most surprising thing about waxing is the people and their varying personalities. Clients tell you about their whole lives. There's something beautiful about being able to vent to a stranger.

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Carina Hsieh

Sex & Relationships Editor

Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.

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