Healthy, loving and stable relationships do not come about accidentally. They are the results of what we deliberately put in and deliberately leave out just like it is when cooking a meal. If we do not add salt in the meal, it won't get in there by accident.
.jpg)
Today I want to share with you some things that can make our relationships more like the rich, healthy loving and sweet love relationship that we all desire. Permit me to call them ingredients.
1. FOCUS ON GREAT RELATIONSHIPS:
I sat back to ask myself how many amazing relationships I know. Of course there are couples who have gone ahead of us that I admire and draw inspiration from but I asked myself how many stories of couples who grew old together I know about. Someone has said that a person's life gravitates towards their most dominant thoughts. That's also true in the case of our love relationships.
A person's relationship will go in the direction of the image in their hearts and minds. This is why it's so important to place before our eyes stories and examples of couples who walked hand in hand till their old age. We live in a world where more and more the conventional tide is going against the core values of marriages and stable homes. To remain different and untouched by the trend in the world, we have to keep a different image before us. You need to have examples and stories of great couples at your finger tips. People who didn't just live together till they got old but who also loved and respected and supported each other all the way till their old age.
We need to have examples of people who still enjoyed each other even with their grey hairs. You can start from biblical examples of couples who got married in their youth and grew old together. The likes of Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca etc, down to examples in our present generation and a few generations past. This is one of the ways to be deliberate about having a blissful and enduring marriage, by focusing on great relationships.
2. MAKE THE NEEDED DISCONNECTIONS NOW:
The undoing of many homes, relationships and marriages isn't far fetched. There are practices and associations that do more harm than good and if we're going to have great homes these must have to go.
Anything that doesn't fulfil the purpose of a beautiful home where love and joy reign, is not worth being a part of our lives. For example, in disconnecting, we may have to let some habits go, some addictions, some associations etc. These habits and addictions may not be terrible things as such that raise the brows. They may be things like the way we spend our time, what we spend our time on, the way we talk, unnecessary alliances with friends/colleagues etc.
.jpg)
You know, if people always say there's a problem with the way you talk, you can seek help by admitting to yourself you need a change and by reading and consulting materials that will help you talk better. The point is, you ought to be willing and eager to disconnect from anything that isn't helping your marriage/relationship, and the time to disconnect is NOW.
3. UNDERSTAND THE PRIORITY OF YOUR MARRIAGE:
It's good to put God first in everything. That's usually not a problem for many people to agree on. Where the problem comes in many times is when it comes to agreeing upon what comes next. Some think it should be work taking the second place, others think it should be their ministry, some others think it should be the family and some others think it should be something else all together.
Our understanding of the priority of our family/marriage will affect what level of attention, care and commitment we'll give to it. Let's settle it within our hearts once and for all that our home (marriage and family) comes before anything else. This is second only to God. This simple point in itself is more vital than almost anything else one can learn about having a successful family. But it's not enough to say it, this has to reflect in the way we use our time, energy and resources.
The way we use our time is a vivid indication of what we cherish and do not cherish. Time spent being with family is time spent wisely. Then, our energy. This speaks volumes about us. The energy input in the home should be too obvious not to notice. In our respective rights as men and women, let's invest our individual energies (labour) into advancing our homes. Lastly, our resources define where we want our heart to be because our hearts dwell on where our resources are. By giving your marriage and home top priority in your resources, you direct the attention of your heart more to your home.
4. CREATE WITH YOUR MOUTH:
We are often tempted to always say things as they are. Yes, it's good to be frank but being frank does not mean that we should always say what we see. We should learn to speak good things. Let me give an example. If there's something your spouse always does that doesn't get to you very nicely, maybe they do it unconsciously and without a deliberate intention to hurt you but still it does. Instead of complaining and saying things like, "Sweetheart, I don't know why you have the tendency to always forget things. I dislike it when you fail to remember crucial things that are very important to us. You keep doing this again and again. If you were thinking more about how much it means to us, you would not have forgotten it."
.jpg)
While this may be true in itself, notice it's a complain. It does not release any power to change the situation. If we keep saying what we are seeing we will keep seeing what we are seeing. Nothing will change and we'll be stalled.
Instead of talking that way you can say,"Look honey, you're a great person. I know you have the ability to remember things that are important to us. You'll get better at it. You're not the forgetful kind. Vital things will not slip past you anymore because you didn't remember them."
Notice that if you talk like this you're releasing power into the situation to bring about the needed changes. By talking this way you're not saying what you're seeing but what you want to see. If you keep saying what you want to see, you'll see what you're saying. It's called prophecy and all of us can and should wield this power in our relationships. Concerning our relationships, let's create with our mouths what we want to see, rather than just describe what we can see. Do not just describe, create.
We'll stop here for this weekend. These four simple things we have shared today can bring about the revolution needed in your love relationship. I encourage you to discuss these things with your fiance, fiancée, husband or wife. Talk about each point and how you can actually apply them in your relationship. I am praying for you that God will help you express His ideals in your relationship.
Images sourced from Google.com
I Remain @thelovejunkie, Your Steemit Love Coach With A Difference a.k.a Love Doctor
Join Us On AIR-CLINIChere
