10 Ways Self Love Makes Exceptional Moms

10 Ways Self Love Makes Exceptional Moms

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Self love? What does it mean exactly?

Well, for moms, it’s can be a bit of an obscure concept.

We’re very familiar with love, the kind of love that’s unstoppable and generally flows in torrents in the direction of our family. This love is demonstrated not just in hugs and cuddles, but in the form of lunch boxes, clean clothes, putting tired little bodies to bed and consoling a toddler whose ice cream just met the road.

Pause for a minute and think of the last time you directed some of that loving care your own way? An extra 20 minutes in the bath, an indulgent bite of your favourite chocolate or a binge session of that embarrassingly ridiculous series? All that, in a nutshell, is self love. And if the last sentence made you sigh a little sigh of “YES PLEASE!!!”, then you’re about to learn just how to work these simple pleasures into your manic-mom routine.

How To Self Love With Self-Care

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1. Give a Little Praise

We encourage, praise and support our children daily, now it’s time to dish some of that good stuff your way. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how damn awesome you are! I don’t care if you have stretch marks here or dimples there or if this all sounds corny. Your strengths, weaknesses and abilities deserve credit and attention, so say what needs to be said! Go on. Now is as good a time as any.

Eliminate non-productive thought patterns. Even those grumpy monthly hormones can be subdued if you refuse to entertain or feed them. Positive emotions breed more positive emotions.

Be specific in your self-praise, and do it again and again. Practice makes perfect, and just like your child’s confidence grows with positive reinforcement, so will yours.

2. Exercise & Healthy Eating

You may not have an hour to retreat to your Yoga mat or time to whip up a banana berry buchu bowl, but you can make healthy choices that replace the less healthy ones. We’re not talking a 10 km run or converting to Veganism overnight, small changes are easy to implement, maintain and build on.

Start with drinking a glass of water in the morning; good hydration helps detox and flush out your system. If you wanted to give your body a little extra help, you could consider a herbal supplement. Mushroom supplements, for example, can provide you with an extra kick of antioxidants and anti-inflammatories, plus support for your immune system – if this is something you are interested in, you could buy mushroom capsules online and give them a whirl to see if they make a difference. Stretch for 10 minutes when you get out of bed, it’ll help your circulation and you’ll feel more invigorated, maybe even enough to skip that caffeine fix. Drink another glass of water and stretch just before bed to double up on the benefits.

3. Freshen Up

After a challenging day, all you want is to be able to hit the “reset” button. Done! Order up a home spa treatment. Step one, change your bedsheets; step two, pour a bath; steps 3, 4 and 5, soak the day away. Add Epsom Salts to your hot bath to feel rejuvenated, right down to the bone. Cleanse your face to remove all impurities and waterproof and oil-based products on your skin, and don’t forget to give your lashes a treat too – everyone wants longer lashes. And remember, using good quality products such as Lilac St. at-home lash extensions can be a good decision to avoid damaging your natural lashes. Next, apply a few drops of that antiaging serum and a generous heap of moisturizer.

Once you emerge, pull out all the stops and lather on the body cream, massage your feet and paint those nails. Done right, and without cutting corners, you’ll look and feel incredible and sleep like a baby, maybe even spoil yourself with some teeth whitening strips.

4. Take a Nap and Daydream

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If you need more than a quick nap, take the grandparents up on their offer to babysit, if you’re lucky enough to have their support close by. It’s a few hours that both them and your kids will relish, and you’ll get to enjoy a few hours of blissful silence. The ebb and flow of life will change your circumstances soon enough, so while your family life is in its growth cycle, enjoy dreaming of your next travel destination. If you can dream it, you can do it.

5. Gifts and Gratitude

Buy yourself flowers, get a scented candle for the bathroom, or stop by your favourite bakery and pick up those irresistible macaroons. It’s not about how much you spend, it’s about feeling treated.

Practising gratitude makes us aware of how many gifts are presented to us daily. Beautiful, healthy children, wonderful weather, silly things that make you laugh, and a hot bath waiting for you at the end of the day.

6. Ask for Help

We get that you’re used to doing all the heavy lifting yourself, and secretly love the feeling of being capable, strong and empowered. That’s all great, but if you find yourself feeling less than 110%, asking for help is not a fail, but another form of self love. Help doesn’t render you weak or strip you of your super mom status, it’s a form of good control. Why not use resources available to you?

Don’t wait for the breaking point to reach out, a meltdown is a messy and completely avoidable affair. Simply ask. If it’s advice you need, ask a friend or a parent? If it’s quiet time, get dad to take the kids for a few hours. Children can help clean up, entertain themselves or put themselves to bed, in fact, it will help them build confidence and self-determinism. Bonus!

7. Get Creative

Paint, dance, sew, colour, make music or cook, whatever feels like fun. If gardening’s your thing, then get your green fingers busy or if you have a piece of furniture that needs refurbishing, channel your self love in its direction.

8. Learn to Say No

We’ve established that we are capable of marvellous and monumental things, but that doesn’t mean you have to do them all. Regardless if you’re a stay at home mom or work during the day, there are limits to what you can manage. Focus on what matters and what’s important for you.

The kids don’t need to go to every party they’re invited to, and you don’t have to home bake your cake sale contribution. Don’t overextend yourself, prioritize your free time, and just like the taxman, reserve a sizable portion for yourself.

9. Nurture Your Relationships

First and foremost, there’s your partner. Day-to-day distractions and managing kids can create distance, but there are strong and powerful reasons why you chose your partner to build a family and share your life. It’s important to make time to keep connected and remember what first attracted you to each other. Small rituals are the glue that helps you ride out the routine.

Spend time together alone, even if it’s just an hour a night. Watch that addictive series or cook your favourite meal together. Date night may take a bit more planning, but making even a little time for each other is well worth it. We’re lucky enough to sneak out for breakfast at least once every two weeks. It really does help recharge your relationship batteries. Consider indulging in a paint and sip session with Pinot and Picasso as a date idea that brings creativity and a unique experience to your relationship. Get ready to unleash your artistic talents while sipping on a glass of wine (or two), creating a fun and memorable outing that truly recharges your relationship batteries.

Then there are your fellow mums and girlfriends. You don’t have to see them every week or even every month, but keep communication lines open, even if it is just a quick note to share news or commiserate. Reply to Whatsapp messages when the kids have gone to bed and if you haven’t yet mastered the voice note, get with the program! You’ll get a lot more said, in a lot less time.

10. Read a Book, Watch a Movie or Listen to Music

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Pamper Yourself

Make sure you are looking after your body, your appearance in particular. When you look in the mirror, are you satisfied with what you see? Taking care of your appearance whether it’s going to the hairdresser, get your lashes and eyebrows done, or maybe treat yourself to some laser hair removal.

Make it happen!

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You’ll function better and have more energy to meet the demands of a busy family and work schedule. If mom guilt is holding you back from making the time for yourself, think how guilty you’ll feel when you’re overwhelmed, run-down, and a nasty bout of flu knocks you out of action for a week.

Find the balance; you owe it to you, yourself and your family.

By Carly Crawford|April 17th, 2018|Parenting Blogs|7 Comments

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