Archive of Our Own

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waxing romanics

Summary:

Jaehyun doesn’t quite know how to react when he finds all his fruity scented candles in the trash, but when they’re replaced the next day with vanilla scented ones he can’t be angry. If it means Doyoung will spend more time with him, he’ll let him buy any candles he likes.

Notes:

my fic didnt end up as candle-centric as the prompt called for. hope the prompter doesnt have a thing for candles. enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

"Doesn't it just… take you away to Hawaii?" Jaehyun inhaled deeply, savoring the sweet scent of Bahama Breeze as Doyoung covered his nose with his shirt and lunged at him, swatting his hand in attempt to snuff out the candle on the windowsill. He missed, and the three flames flickered, dancing in the gust of wind he had created. They looked like they were laughing at him.

“Smells more like the cheap strawberry daiquiris my Tinder dates buy me from TGI Friday’s.” Doyoung straightened himself up and responded dryly. Jaehyun, who had taken up a defensive stance in front of his beloved wax and chemical cocktail, saw Doyoung relax and seized his opportunity, tackling his hyung to the floor and pinning his wrists above his head.

“What scent then,” Jaehyun leaned closer to Doyoung and the tips of their noses brushed together. “Do you suggest I buy my candles in?” He asked, hot breath tickling Doyoung’s skin. Doyoung appeared to have not heard Jaehyun and was too busy squirming out from underneath him to answer.

“What, are you trying to make a move on me?” He accused, “If you really think I would give my lips to a man who likes his candles fruitier than me, then you’re sadly mistaken.”

“That’s not an answer!” Jaehyun teased, the tip of his nose brushing Doyoung’s cheek.

“You didn’t give me one either.” Jaehyun’s breath caught in his throat and Doyoung took advantage of the younger’s hesitation, shoving him off and popping up, tugging down on the too-small pajama shorts he wore around the apartment. “Enjoying the view?” Doyoung noted Jaehyun’s stare boring holes into his willowy legs. Jaehyun’s eyes widened and he met Doyoung’s eyes with the expression of a child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, stumbling over his feet in attempt to stand up. Doyoung chuckled, taking advantage of Jaehyun’s lack of balance and shoved him back down onto the couch, dancing out of reach before Jaehyun had the chance to pull Doyoung down with him.

Doyoung sashayed back to Jaehyun’s bedroom, and Jaehyun let his eyes follow him, drinking in every inch of exposed skin, knowing he wouldn’t be caught this time, but somewhat hoping that Doyoung would turn back.

“Hyung, how about sleeping in your own apartment for once?” He called after Doyoung’s retreating figure.

“As if you could make it through the night without me by your side.” Doyoung threw over his shoulder. Jaehyun hated that he was right.

The night passed as usual. Doyoung slept without incident and Jaehyun could barely close his eyes, hyper aware of Doyoung’s shallow breathing and the older’s slender arm pressed up against his own. This was typical. Doyoung’s overnight stays often left Jaehyun

sleep deprived, walking around like a zombie until he’d downed at least three cups of cuban coffee, but he didn’t mind. He put these restless hours to good use, scrutinizing every small detail of Doyoung’s body- the parts that were visible at least. Jaehyun had familiarized himself with the slope of Doyoung’s nose, the curves of his collarbones, and the way his bangs became entangled with his eyelashes when he went too long between haircuts. Sometimes, when Doyoung’s breathing turned to light snores, Jaehyun would muster up all his courage and prop himself up on one elbow, raising a hand to Doyoung’s face, using the pads of his fingers to trace Doyoung’s features, ghosting over his plush lips and deep cupid’s bow, areas he’d never had an excuse to touch before.

There were some nights when dawn would come and sleep had evaded Jaehyun all the while. When Doyoung’s alarm would sound, he would cuddle up in his blanket, unmoving, as Doyoung rolled out of bed to go upstairs to his apartment and prepare for his work day. Most mornings, Doyoung would stroke Jaehyun’s hair before he set off, his fingers catching a strand or two before pulling away, as Jaehyun, feeling ridiculous, laid there feigning sleep. On mornings like these, when Jaehyun supposed Doyoung was feeling particularly sentimental, he would lean down and plant a kiss on Jaehyun’s forehead, and Jaehyun’s cheeks would flush or his pulse would quicken and he would pray to whatever higher power that Doyoung, perceptive, clever Doyoung, would miss these obvious cues that he was very much awake.

This morning Doyoung was particularly loud, not bothering to ease the bedroom door shut but slamming it instead and plodding down the hallway. Just as Jaehyun was finding sleep, he heard the tinkling sound of broken glass from somewhere in his apartment, followed by a string of curses. Figuring it was just Doyoung fixing himself breakfast he brushed it off and rolled over, fighting to stay awake until he heard the front door close, signaling Doyoung’s exit.

As sleep overcame Jaehyun yet again, he was rudely awakened by his front door being thrown open for a second time. He froze for a moment before he recognized the too-familiar pitter patter of Doyoung’s footsteps, but Jaehyun was so in tune with Doyoung’s usual morning routine that he could tell the elder was deviating from the norm, stopping at odd intervals around the apartment, especially having already left and returned.

Maybe he’s looking for his sunglasses. Jaehyun thought

groggily. Finally, he succumbed to his brain and let sleep overtake him. Somewhere in the distance his front door clicked shut.

When Jaehyun arose it was high noon, light flooding his room despite the linen curtains. He leaned over to grab his phone, the brightness blinding his unadjusted eyes. When he had toned the brightness down to a more appropriate setting, he noted the display, which read: 12:53 September 22. What time was his next class? He took a moment to rack his brains. Fuck. It started at 1:15, he realized, and he was halfway across town from his university campus. He also noted a text from Doyoung, but that would have to wait, he decided, as he sprung out of bed and pulled on whatever clothes were scattered around the room. He waddled out of his house, still trying to squeeze into his jeans, and barely made it to the bus stop, which was less than a block from his apartment. It was 1:00 on the dot when Jaehyun slumped into a chair on the bus and pulled out his phone again.

9:30 AM Doyoung: Did you see my surprise?? ;)

1:01 PM Jaehyun: no :( sorry hyung.

i woke up so late i just ran from my

room to the front door.

1:01 PM Jaehyun: didn’t even get breakfast

He quickly typed out the second message as he realized his stomach was growling quietly. His phone buzzed in his lap signaling Doyoung’s response.

1:02 PM Doyoung: I’ll never understand how you sleep so late,

Jaehyunnie. But you’re in for a treat when you get home! See you tonight <3

Jaehyun’s stomach fluttered. Doyoung was not the type to extend romantic gestures- not romantic, but friendly, Jaehyun reminded himself- and the idea of Doyoung having gone out of his way for him feel like someone had simultaneously hit him over the head with a mallet and released a swarm of butterflies into his chest cavity. He couldn’t wait to get home.

Naturally, his class passed by extremely slowly, the minute hand on the clock moving what felt like once every ten minutes. After what seemed like a year, his professor released the class and Jaehyun had to restrain himself from sprinting back home. As he strolled out to the quad, maintaining a hurried pace, he noticed the gardening club had set up a booth and was handing out flowers.

This is so cliché I could kick myself . Jaehyun thought. But he gritted his teeth and walked over, plucking a pretty pink flower from one of the vases on the table.

Mark, an overenthusiastic underclassman piped up as he watched Jaehyun turn the flower over in his hand.

“That’s a carnation! It symbolizes pure love and luck. Isn’t it pretty? I can’t believe we got them to bloom this time of year, usually it’s a struggle to maintain them into the fall, especially as it starts getting colder out, but you know Ten hyung, he never gives up on these damn plants. In fact you should see the modifications he’s made to the greenhouse to accommodate the-” Jaehyun flashed a very forced smile Mark’s way and cut him off with a wave. He had stopped listening at the words “pure love” anyways.

This phrase bounced around in his head as he marched past his bus stop and delved further into the city, bound for Doyoung’s office building, carnation in hand.

Just like every other time he had visited, simply standing in the waiting room of Doyoung’s office was almost enough to put him to sleep. Jaehyun couldn’t tell what Doyoung did for a living if his life depended on it, but he knew it was a government job, and the edifice could attest to this. Everything, literally everything , in the building was a different shade of greige and the windows were mere slats, not even large enough to slip out an S.O.S note, which Doyoung frequently joked about, although the more often he visited the more Jaehyun became certain that Doyoung wasn’t kidding.

He approached the secretary with intent to ask for directions to Doyoung’s office but was instead met with an accusatory “What’s your business here?”

Jaehyun floundered for a moment. Uhh yeah, I’m here to give a flower to my best friend under the pretext of returning a surprise but really it’s because I’m in love with him and too terrified to confess in a straightforward way lest I ruin our friendship. His brain supplied helpfully.

“I’m here to see Kim Doyoung.” Jaehyun did his best to sound official, but his words felt tangled in his mouth like the leash of a lovesick puppy. The secretary hit a few buttons on her keyboard and hummed in disapproval.

“Mr. Kim doesn’t have any appointments scheduled for this afternoon. Who are you, exactly?” Jaehyun struggled to contain a snort of laughter upon hearing Doyoung being called “Mr. Kim”. He smoothed out his face and tried again.

“I’m a close friend of Doyoun- Mr. Kim. I just wanted to drop in and surprise him.” He plastered a smile across his face, hoping his dimples would help his case. The woman gave Jaehyun a once over, her eyes stopping on the carnation still clenched in his sweaty fists. She glanced from the flower, to Jaehyun’s face, back to the flower and shot Jaehyun a knowing smile. He could immediately tell that she had misread the situation, but wasn’t going to correct her as she gave Jaehyun directions to Doyoung’s office and waved him off in the direction of the elevators. Before the doors closed behind him, he heard the secretary radio Doyoung on the intercom.

“Mr. Kim, your boyfriend is down in the lobby, I just sent him up.” Doyoung’s boyfriend . Jaehyun’s heart jackhammered in his chest. He liked the sound of that.

The adrenaline had still not subsided by the time Jaehyun found Doyoung’s office which was marked by a shiny bronze plaque labeled Doyoung Kim, PhD . His head was so clouded with energy and affection that he found himself halfway over the threshold before remembering that societal norms dictated he knock before entering. It was too late. Doyoung’s head snapped up, a dark look across his face which dissipated the second stepped into his line of vision.

“Oh, it’s you.” A relieved smile lit up Doyoung’s face as he crossed the cramped office in two strides and took Jaehyun into his arms.

“Who did you think it was going to be? One of your guys off Grindr?” As they pulled away Jaehyun noticed a soft blush painting Doyoung’s cheeks. “Do you have something to tell me?” Jaehyun demanded. Doyoung’s eyes were glued to the floor. He cleared his throat and recovered himself.

“First of all, Grindr is slimy. I’m better than that. Second of all, I definitely didn’t think it would be you walking through that door, but a part of me was hoping it was.” Doyoung replied with little panache. Jaehyun wondered how he could be so straightforward all the time. Did he know what it did to Jaehyun? How it shot a bullet through his heart each time? Of course not.

“So what I’m getting is that a part of you wishes I was your boyfriend.” Jaehyun took a desperate stab at humor, hoping he hadn’t waited too long, that Doyoung had missed the desire that constricted his throat and made it hard to speak. What he wasn’t expecting was to throw Doyoung off the way he had.

“What? HA! You wish! You really DID think Jaehyun.” The blush returning to his cheeks. Jaehyun couldn’t be bothered to hide the way his face fell, and Doyoung, who was supposed to be perceptive all the time, not just selectively, finally picked up on it, quickly changing the subject. “Did you see my surprise?” He pinched Jaehyun’s cheek gently.

“No, hyung I told you, I had to go straight to class. I still haven’t been home. I only came by to drop off this flower-” He shoved the carnation into Doyoung’s hands ungracefully; the moment had already been ruined, he thought. “To thank you in advance for your surprise. Because I know you like having things around that brighten up your office. A surprise from me.” He finished lamely.

Doyoung was turning the flower between his fingers, a softness in his expression that Jaehyun had seldom seen before. He looked at Jaehyun with tenderness unparalleled and, without warning, burst into laughter.

“What?” Jaehyun complained, drawing the word out into two syllables.

“Nothing, nothing. It’s just- well, did you ever stop to think that not all surprises are good surprises? I never said you would like what I did.”

“Doyoung hyung, what did you do ?”

“You’ll figure it out when you get home.” Doyoung grinned slyly and tapped the side of his nose. Jaehyun, frustrated, but used to being putty in Doyoung’s hands, rolled his eyes- the least childish response his brain had offered him- and walked out of Doyoung’s office. He left the door wide open, feeling slightly better after having agitated one of Doyoung’s greatest pet peeves.

“Bye bye now!” The faceless secretary called after Jaehyun.

The bus ride home felt like an eternity. What could surprise could be so physically unassuming that he hadn’t noticed it but significant enough to excite Doyoung? It was very out of character for Doyoung and left Jaehyun’s stomach in knots. The only conclusion he could draw was that Doyoung had left the apartment in the morning and returned with a gift to leave on the counter for him. A dozen roses, a handwritten letter professing his mutual love, admiration, and lust. Only on the ride home did Jaehyun allow himself to entertain the idea that Doyoung might feel the same. But he left his heart on the bus while he disembarked at Seodaemun-gu.

His trek up the stairs felt akin to scaling a mountain that Jaehyun wasn’t sure he wanted to summit. He was absolutely certain that his expectations had surmounted whatever laid on the other side of his door and Jaehyun knew he wasn’t ready to face it, though he couldn’t explain why. He had long since come to terms with his reality where Doyoung did not reciprocate his feelings, felt to to the core of his being, surrounding the two of them as they slept entangled in one another, choking Jaehyun as he tried to spit out his confession, murmuring in his ear and reminding him that he was not enough for Doyoung, never had been and never would be.

Turning his key in the lock, Jaehyun stoppered the raw emotion flooding out of his chest and curled his fingers around the door handle. For a second he stopped and wondered- Why am I building this up so much? - With that, he threw both the door, and his expectations, aside.

Confident that he would’ve noticed something out of place in the living room on his way out the door, Jaehyun moved on to the kitchen which was as orderly as always, save Doyoung’s dirty bowl and mug from that morning. His hope wavered; there weren’t many places to hide things in his cramped apartment. His bedroom was just as he had left it, a messy bed and a nightstand, not much room for anything else. Tears threatening, he stuck his head in the bathroom, but every surface was covered in cosmetics and skincare bottles.

Jaehyun silently cursed his optimism as he sank onto the couch, feeling around on the coffee table for his lighter. His eyes clouded with tears as he lit his favorite candle, so he shut them completely and breathed deeply, waiting for the scent to hit and transport him to Hawaii, Barbados, an alternate universe where Doyoung loved him back. Anywhere but here. He refused to open his eyes, but his tears fell anyways, burning tracks down his cheeks. He cried himself to sleep like this, sniffling and sobbing, snot-nosed and shaky.

He woke up to his cheek being stroked and the overwhelming scent of vanilla and musk. Doyoung . As embarrassed as he was to be found like this, he curled into Doyoung’s side and allowed the elder to worry over him.

“Does it really smell that bad?” Doyoung wondered aloud. “God, If I had known you were that attached to your shitty candle I would’ve just bought a nose plug. Now I feel bad”

Jaehyun’s eyes fluttered open and saw what his tears had obstructed before. Where his orange Bahama Breeze candle usually sat, a clean looking white one burned in its place, lit by himself, he assumed, before he had cried himself into oblivion.

“I didn’t even realize.” Jaehyun confessed, embarrassed. “But why did you make such a big deal out of a candle? You had me so wound up.” He sounded meek, but Jaehyun hoped Doyoung understood that he was being accusatory.

Doyoung’s cheeks burned bright pink. It was his turn to be embarrassed. “You know I’m not really good with romantic gestures or doing sweet things. It doesn’t come as naturally to me as it does to you.” He scratched his neck. “This is my way of saying-” Doyoung paused and swallowed hard, “Of saying that I want to stick around. I’m not going anywhere, Jaehyun.” He nodded, sure of himself. “And this is me giving a piece of myself to you. A tasteful piece, since we’ve already established that you have no taste when it comes to candles. I didn’t mean to get like this and present you with overinflated symbolism behind a candle- especially since I didn’t even pay for it I literally pulled it out of my apartment- but I’ve been trying for so long to figure out a way to tell you that I love you-”

Jaehyun cut Doyoung off with a kiss as fiery and passionate as the brightest star in the night sky. Literally, it was hot. Both of their cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and slightly sweaty palms groped at napes and shoulders, awkwardly unfamiliar territory, even for Jaehyun who thought he knew Doyoung’s body better than his own.

It was Doyoung who pulled away as the kiss began to deepen. “Is that your way of saying ‘ditto?’”

Jaehyun chuckled and buried himself deeper into Doyoung’s side. “If I had known that all it was gonna take was candles, I would’ve surrendered my Bahama Breeze months ago.” A comfortable silence settled across the room.

“Doyoung, I love you too.”

Notes:

i had such a good time writing the first half of this but i will admit i finished it in the parking lot of my job while on break an hour before the deadline. im so sorry this is the worst fic in the nct tag i really didnt intend for it to suck [HOWEVER how fucking clever is my title its what im most proud of]